Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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