Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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