Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
