There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Farmville is her only friend.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
