Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
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i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
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I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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