its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
