did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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