I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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