I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
