I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
