I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
