wakey wakey hands off snakey
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize