I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
