guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
