I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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