take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize