Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
