Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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