If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
pop tarts are not kleenex
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
