Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
