i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
