It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
