i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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