Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
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You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
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Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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