You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
