It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
