I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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