Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
