the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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