Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
