mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize