I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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