Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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