Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
