I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
