I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
this is an emotional support booty call
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
You came to the right person.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.