Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me