you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.