Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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