ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
