Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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