Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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