I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
home. puking in laundry basket.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
