I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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