jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
