he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
