Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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