My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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