you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize