guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Terrible idea I love it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
