the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
