all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
