he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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