did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
