I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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