thus making me awesome and them whores
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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