Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
