we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
