you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
