she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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