there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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