you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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