Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had to cum in my sink.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
