Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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