Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
