you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
