Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Randomize
