What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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