You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
